If smartphones were humans

Hi! I am Smart Phone and I’m indeed bright and hardworking. I’m sure you don’t want me to get started with my capabilities. But given everyone is so frustrated and is ranting at the drop of a hat, so will I. I’m sure you will understand my pain and will lend me an ear. I’m so tired of my life. My boss just doesn’t sleep and doesn’t let me sleep either. The minimum number of hours one should sleep is 6-8. He has become a night owl, sleeps for hardly 5 hours and keeps me awake with him.

I’m not only working late nights but also early mornings. I wake up before him and then wake him up. He doesn’t even wake up after one nudge and I must check upon him thrice to ensure he’s up. Why can’t he wake in one call like me? Anyway, I don’t mind starting the day early if I can have an early night. When he’s off to bath, I just hope I too will get a bath and some good sanitization. I don’t remember the last time when my clothes were cleaned. My body has food and finger patches all over. When my owner smells good after his shower and holds me, I’m so jealous of him. But can I even remain fresh for that long?

All that he does is grab a couch and enjoy a good laugh while I’m working out since I’m up. Jumping jacks are my signature move because I keep jumping up and down with arms swinging left and right. With so much workout I get exhausted, yet I try to keep my boss happy. He is kind of an emotional fellow and has a lot to say and I never let him keep that with him. I use my superpower, qwerty and let him vent it all out. I have reminded him a million times to store those feelings on a diary app, but he will not budge. The only time he listens to me is when I speak. God has given me a sweet melodious voice and whenever I speak, he silently listens to me. He calls my cousin, earphone, and we both together put upon a concert for him. We sing along and he either groves or just calms his mind.

My life is tough with ever-growing responsibility of capturing and storing all his likes, notes, events and memories. My only concern is my rapidly growing weight. Each day, I consume more space and need a lot of juice to survive. When my boss doesn’t give me my recharge and forces me to work, it blows off my mind. I work till I can and then just fall unconscious. Despite my best efforts, I’m thrown when my boss is angry. That is so unethical to my loyalty and at that moment, I cry my heart out.

I have many friends around and when I meet them, I feel at peace. All of them share their similar grief. I request my boss to enjoy with his other friends so that I too can get some time off! I’m so talented that I do not shy away from boasting it as my name – Smart. I have so many unending stories and can continue for hours. But that’s all for now. Until then, have a good time with my friend that you have! I’m sure after hearing me out, you will not penalize him unnecessarily.

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